Back to the Middle and Around Again

So today I chilled with some of my peoples that I have not chilled with in a while. My homegirl, Jersey's sister, came in from the ATL late last week. Initially I figured that I probably would not be able to see her since I had stopped fuckin with everybody due to that big fight from over the summer....I had been accused of trying to steal people's men (i.e. my sister's ex-bf and Jersey's married brother). I think the whole thing started because one of my homegirls from the clic started hatin on me and started saying things that weren't neccessarily true. After the whole blowout, I thought that I'd probably never chill with them again....I'm one who is all for the peace and happiness and dealing with hatin ass chics has never been my thang.

N e ways...so Jersey's sister (let's call her Pookie) hit me up today and told me that she was going to come scoop me because she wanted to see my sister's new baby. Turns out it was just a ploy to take me hostage. lol. Apparently I had been missed by everybody. That actually surprised the hell out of me and most certainly made my day. Of course despite being able to chill with them again, it still was a little awkward.

For one, the homegirl who was hatin on me way back when (let's call her Muk)recently moved out Owings Mills with her boyfriend (let's call him D). Before moving out to D's new apartment, D had hit me up a couple weeks ago trying to holla at me. Basically, I've been to his new apartment before she had. I did not let anything happen because 1) I'm not interested in him in that way and 2) that's just fucked up. It was awkward because I kind of had to pretend that it was my first time ever being there. On top of that, she started getting emotional and everything because she was upset that she didn't think that I fucked with her anymore. It's not really that I stopped fuckin with everybody, I just really do not like being around drama. Particularly when my homegirls men come at me. I want to tell them about their men but for some reason I know that it'll more than likely come back on me. It came back on me without me even having to tell them. And considering that this has been my first time around them in since July, I definitely was not trying to bring any drama.

The second thing that made it awkward was Jersey's ex-gf....I'm not really sure what their status is so I don't know if they are back together or not. Judging by tonight, I do not think they are. She knows about me and Jersey. But she is woman about hers so it's never been any drama between me and her (there was one slight confrontation but it was not that serious). In all honesty, she's cool as shit. The awkwardness came when she got drunk and started crying on my shoulder about Jersey. It was just a little surreal....two chics who have fucked the same guy and one of them is crying to the other one about him. Both of us are mature individuals, do not like drama, are pretty non-judgemental, and go with the flow....so I guess that is why it was all gravy. But at the same time, it's definitely one of those moments in life when you are like "huh?". I was trying to be nice to her without being overly honest...and that was hard for me. The truth of the matter is, I feel like Jersey is stringing her along until something better comes his way. But of course, I could not tell her that....although I think she could tell what I was thinking. I told her that she just needed to focus on herself, that she is a good woman, and maybe that overall the two of them are just incompatible. Her father recently got locked up and a part of me feels like she's clinging to Jersey even more because of it. I told her that sometimes, you have to deal with things on your own...that's life...and you cannot expect a man to save you. She told me that "it was deeper than that". She wouldn't tell me how though. I told her what truly mattered was whether or not she was happy with him...she told me that she was happy with Jersey...my response "Then why are you crying?". Of course she eventually figured out that I was the wrong person to talk to because I am not one who can just sit and listen to someone cry. I have a really bad habit of trying to make people see what's real instead of allowing them to sit happily in the fog. I think that I need to learn to just shut-up and listen....because at the end of the day that's all that people want.

Another thing that made it awkward is the fact that I still like Jersey. I'm going to save that discussion for a later date. When I saw him after not seeing him in a minute I was thinking "ummmm, tasty". I'm not sure if him and his ex-gf are together, if they are, I most certainly will respect that. But if they are not, then that puts me in a weird position. His ex-gf is now a part of the clic, so I really do not know the "rules" regarding this situation (as much as I'd hate to admit it, unfortunately there are rules that we all subconsciously adhere to in the game of life). Unless someone directly insults me, I find it almost impossible to be underhanded. Maturity definitely gets you far....because if she did come at me like a bitch....being underhanded would be like second skin to me. That makes her a smart woman.

I think Mister is kind of warry about me being cool with them. I think he thinks that me being cool with them is going to decrease his QT time. But it really doesn't matter considering I'm leaving to go back to Pittsburgh in January.

Overall, my holidays have started out pretty good.