Life is Oh So Wonderful.....

I think in my life I have struggled with finding some sort of emotional balance. It has been the greatest trial that I have had to face. But like all my trials, it is only a matter of time before I master it. I have a better understanding of people and I have a better understanding of myself. And I have learned to find the beauty in both regardless who or what type of people they may or may not be. I used to feel like a caged bird...a wild animal trapped in a zoo...but now, I feel more like an unbridled horse. I have stamina, grace, simplicity, steadfastness, patience, and stability. Like an unbridled horse I'm not possessive although I still maintain my stubborness. I have developed an emotional temperment that manifest itself as compassionate detachment.

I have fallen so head over heels in love with ME. Self-love is the greatest gift that God could bless me with. I look at the majority of people...and even the ones who claim to value themselves in high regard, I do not think they really understand what self-love really means. And it actually makes me feel bad. I used to have a very guarded approach to people....but now all I have is sympathy. For instance, the one homegirl that keeps hating on me and trying to manipulate everyone else into thinking I'm Satan's little helper....I used to resent her, but after last weekend, I realized just how insecure with herself she is....I think she really hates the way things in her life are....and I think she wishes she was someone different....and instead of hating her, all I wanted to do was hug her. To have that amount of self-hate is so so so sad. I think it's the worst feeling anyone can experience. I think the older I get, the more intuitive and sympathetic I become....I'm less reactive (I'm still slightly reactive....but not nearly as much as I used to be).

I've always been proud of the fact that I've gotton myself great opportunities as far as moving ahead in life....but nothing makes me prouder than becoming the person that I want to be. I still have some work to do but I'm getting there....

I can say without a doubt in my mind that I am not content...Rather, I am happy.