I Go to Sleep at Night and Ask Myself...WHY?

Okay I know that I said that I was going to refrain from getting personal but.....I'm having issues and need to write about them. Who knows, it may be close to my time of the month but I must say that I'm feeling quite restless. GRRRRR.

First and foremost, I'd like to wish a happy belated 21st birthday to my sister Danielle. She's joined the 21 and over crew and is officially a big girl now! lol.

N e ways, so I recently dived back into the dating game and by recently I mean within the past couple weeks. I really have not dated anyone since I returned back to school because I primarily wanted to be focused. I have to maintain that 4.0. I think because I have been surrounded by an endless slew of estrogen, I am now craving some testosterone....and not in a sexual sense.

Honestly, this is the longest that I have ever been out of the dating game. I'm usually dating at least one person...at the most, fifteen people (I know ridiculous right?). It's been about 3 months since I have been out on an "official" date with anyone and let me tell you....the pickings are slim. I meet people very easily considering I have the habit of talking to random people. Therefore, within the past couple of weeks I am currently dating five guys.

I am dating two Virgos, a Cancer, a Taurus, an Aries...and by the end of the week hopefully this Leo character.

I have discovered that as quickly as I have delve back into the game, I need to quickly get out of it. I feel like I am quickly loosing my center. I will not go into detail as to why...mainly because it is late and I do not feel like writing about it. But I must say, I've out grown dating. It's significantly sooooo unfulfilling and it's old.

Dating has caused me to get rather flightly. I'll explain more about this later.

All and all, the conclusion is that I need to put all this aside and focus on getting in and getting out of school. Point blank.

I think the bottom line is that I'm not as stimulated as I like to be...when I am unstimulated, I get restless. When I get restless, I get stupid. When I get stupid, I just fuck everythng up and become pretty emotionally immature.

My thoughts right now are extremely disjointed so what I'm saying may be hard to follow. Primarily because it's 3:00 in the morning and my eyes are low.

But I just had to skim the surface of what I'm feeling right now since I do not have recourse...it's the only way for me to sleep.


Goodnight!