Struggling with Femininity

As I mentioned, my life can be divided into various chapters. Unlike past journal entries, I will not go into great detail about the personal happenings of my life but I will try to use some issues in my life to touch issues that effect the whole. In a previous entry, I divided my life into the following chapters:

Chapter 1: Thou Shall Be Free

Chapter 2: Thou Shall Say Fuck It

Chapter 3: There is a Thin Line Between Self-Love and Self-Hate: Steps Toward Self-Preservation

Chapter 4: Chicken(head)s of a Feather Flock Together

Chapter 5: Thou Shall Learn Discipline: Steps Toward Self-Correction

Now I have started a new chapter in my life and it is called.....

Chapter 6: (Struggling with Femininity)


I put the chapter in quotes given the fact that I have yet to know what the lesson that I should learn is.

In this day and age, gender lines are grayer than ever. Women especially have come far from their traditional housewife role to become forces to be reckon with. Even though women have gained more independence and have earned greater respect, their is a dire consequence with this movement.

We now live in a world where men have to compensate for not being man enough and women have to compensate for being too much like a woman. All and all, everyone is trying to wear the pants and align themselves with "manly" qualities.

I have always been a person who believes that instead of associating yourself with another group outside your own, it is better to redefine the stereotype of the group that you are in. That is, instead of women trying to disassociate themselves with other women and align themselves with men, they need to attempt to redefine what being a women actually is.

Stereotypically, a man is someone who dominates and is logical whereas stereotypically a woman is someone who is passive, weak, and irrationally emotional. Woman disassociate themselves from other women because who wants to be a negative stereotype? What we as a whole need to do is redefine the Woman as being ride-or-die, maternal, straight-forward, secure, and has common sense. And get the woman stereotype directed towards girls. A woman should not question whether or not she is "man enough" she should start to question whether or not she is "woman enough". She should not pride herself in the fact that she can "fight like a man". Rather, she should pride herself in the fact that she can "fight like a woman".

It's not about separating the men from the women. It's about separating the men from the boys and the women from the girls. Both a MAN and a WOMAN are people who dominate and are logical. But boys and girls are those who are passive, weak, and irrational.

I do not fuck with girls....I only fuck with WOMEN. I do not fuck with boys....I only fuck with MEN.

Because I feel I am woman about mines, life can sometimes get a little frustrating considering the world is made up of boys and girls. It becomes hard to find a "home" in people. When you are around the girls you do not quite fit in, when you are around the boys you do not quite fit in either. It's only when you are around grown folks when things actually make sense.

There is a saying that goes "The life of an old soul is a bitter one". I never really agreed with the saying because I always thought that having wisdom could never do you harm. But in light of recent events, I understand.

(will finish later)