Far Away From Home

I finally have made my way back to Baltimore. My summer has been one hell of a fun filled adventure to say the least. Even though I discovered that Vegas was not the place for me, I must say that I greatly enjoyed the change of pace.

My last day in Vegas was August 9th. My last day at Harrah's Entertainment was on August 8th in which they gave me my review. And let me just say that I'M THE MOTHER FUCKING SHIT! I did not just get a good review...but my review was way above excellent. And yes I'm tooting my own horn...I've worked so hard and have earned the right to pat myself on the back.

My supervisor told me that in the workplace because of general office politics, employers/employees refrain from using words that over-emphasize your abilities in your written evaluation. But, he said that my performance was so outstanding that my co-workers could not help themselves. They usually refrain from using words like "phenomenal" or "highly recommend" as they did in my write up. The only criticisims that I received were that my attire was too fashion forward and that I needed to be more social. He told me that it's okay to be fashionable but I needed to dress more conservative. I kind of knew that I was going to get dinged for that especially since on many occasions I had my tattoo showing. I had to explain to him the whole social thing by telling him about the "black experience" and how blacks are so culturally different from whites that it's a bit of challenge for blacks to be themselves in a White America corporate environment. I was a little nervous about explaining this to him because discussing race in the workplace is considered taboo....but fuck what's taboo, I'm a black women and I feel the need to educate any and everybody about the black experience. That's the only way change will ever occur. When I was talking to my supervisor about the black experience he was suprisingly very cool and open with my straightforwardness.

So of course, now that I have a good review, they not only want me to return back to the company but they really want to work Corporate in Vegas. I do not think that I can permanently settle in Vegas so I asked them to see about getting me connections in Atlantic City. Vegas is a great place to vacation if you want to ball for a week and party...but living there is a completely different thing. Outside the strip, there is nothing but the desert. Vegas is a fairly new city so there is not much there. There is no real sense of culture. I never knew how important culture was to a location until I moved to Vegas. I figured that since Vegas has a substantial amount of Latinos, I would at least get to taste authentic Latin food. But Vegas has nothing but a bunch of food-chains like Mickey D's and Dell Taco. I also thought that since it's a sunny place, there would be cookouts all the time....but nooo, it's just too damn hot. Living in Vegas made me feel very isolated. I met a lot of people but it still felt like everyone was in there own little bubble. I'm used to standing in line somewhere and being able to talk to random people...or seeing strangers talk to strangers...but in Vegas, people do not do that. They all remain to themselves with their own thoughts in their own head. It's incredibly hard to connect with people. Someone who I met that was originally from Detroit told me that Baltimore is physically a hard city because people have to be able to hold their own physically...but Vegas is a mentally hard city in that making connections with people is close to impossible. I did not realize how much people need to connect with other people until I moved to Vegas. I have always loved the single life but while in Vegas, I was really bent on settling down and I was sooooo sexually frustrated. I think the whole settle down thing and the sexual frustration came from the extreme need to connect. All the interns where ready to leave Vegas by the end of the summer.

I also experienced the after shock of the earthquake that occurred in LA. I left Vegas with a bang by going to the Nas concert at Mandalay Bay's House of Blues. I'll say more about that in another entry because Nas is off the fucking chain...not just musically but politically.

By all means, Vegas is a great place, but only to visit. Vegas is not livable enough for me.

There are more stories to tell about Vegas but I will save them for later.

During my stay in Vegas, I took a trip to Los Angeles, CA. Los Angeles was soooooo chill. It make you realize just how stressed out people on the east coast are. I liked LA. The only thing I did not like was the fact that people were a little too pretentious. LA has a lot of skank Barbies. We visited Hermosa Beach and there were girls in expensive club outfits on the beach. I mean come on! Is it really that serious? Heels on the beach? I don't see why a top of the line bikini and some flip flops won't suffice.

After I left Vegas, I went to San Francisco to visit a friend. I love San Fran! I'll post pics soon and go in to more detail later.

Now I am back in Baltimore and I have never felt more restless. Within the first 24 hours of returning to Baltimore, I called a friend and started whining "I want to go Home!". He laughed and responded "What do you mean? You are home." I finally made it home and I never felt farther from it. Arriving in Baltimore is like an instant feeling of tension. I went from feeling carefree and happy to feeling incredibly annoyed, irked, and tense. And no one really had to say anything to me, it's just something that you can sense.

I was chillin with a group of what I like to call "'round the way" friends. I do not think I lasted a good three hours before I hopped the M1 and returned back to poppa dukes house.

(I'll finish later...off to the Stone Soul Picnic)