Redefining "Hater"

So finally I have some time to sit my restless ass down to write....



There has been too much going on for me to really update everyone on all the changes that has been going in my life but lately I have had a something on my mind that I want to share. As with most things in life, each stage that we live through teaches us a valuable lesson about people, about ourselves, or about the grand scheme of things. Right now, I have made so many changes internally that the person I was before is almost completely unrecognizable....and it's a good thing.

If you ask anyone, most people will tell you that the best way to know if the people you deal with are really down for you is to see what they do in your time of need...but I'm learning that this is not all the way true given the fact that there is a good chance that when you are in need, they may be in need to...or, because I'm so stubborn, they may not even realize that you need them.

What I have learned over the past year is that the best way to know if the people you deal with are really downn for you is to see how they act when you decide you want to be a better person. It would suprise you because the people you think would try to hold you back end up being the ones to support your changes and the people you would think would have your back will be the ones who will try to bring you down.

I have given up smokin and drikin (with the exception of wine and beer), I have developed a higher standard of ethics and I am more grounded in my morale. I do not go out to party, I hate bars, when I do go out to dance I dance by myself as opposed to grinding with some sweaty ass stranger. I'm less quick to anger and am more humble when I'm mad or irritated. I have become less judgemental of people who are in a lesser position than I am (i.e. hoovers) and more judgemental of the people who are supposedly on my level. I have decided to go back to church even though I'm not into organized religion (even though I've always been spiritual). And the biggest change of all is that I have decided that I do not want to work for a public company. I'd rather work for a private company, work non-profit, or work for myself (ideally I've always wanted to work for myself). I've also felt more like settling down and have completely given up habitual dating (I haven't dated since January 08 and haven't had sex since November 07). I am also more ginuinely understanding.

All these changes have drastically affected my relationships with people. For both good and bad. I have always had a disdain for haters...and I have always considered haters to be people who hate the fact that I'm going somewhere in life. I go to an exceptionally good school and I'd probably be able to get a very good and lucrative job. But as I age and mature, I'm starting to redefine the word "hater". I don't get the same bad taste in my mouth when I meet people like this because I realize that the worse haters are not those who hate you because you are able to have more but are those you hate you because you are a good, solid person who has full control of self.

I think living in a world where most blacks do not have equal opportunity to excel has a way of fucking with people's heads that cause them to crash into each other. The problem is 50% society and 50% individual responsiblity. It makes sense as to why they hate and it's not completely their fault...it's justifiable anger and I feel sorry for them and want to help them.

The people who I do not want to help are the "friends" who continuously encourage me not to make the necessary changes in my life. When I stopped drinking, I was pretty floored by the fact that most of my friends who are "on my level" got unreasonalbly nasty about the fact that I no longer drink like that and the friends who I consistently brand as hoovers started buying hard liquor less often. And when I said that people got nasty...I'm mean they were really high and mighty about it. When I decided that to give up the dating game and focus more on finding a serious, long term relationship...the friends who are "on my level" (the same ones who have the misconception that I am a slut even though I do not sleep around) once again got really nasty about the fact that I've become more committal.

I can understand if people do not feel the need to live life the way that I have decided to live mine...I am a pretty tolerant person and I do not hold people to the same standards that I hold to myself. I never try to force my beliefs on anybody because I know that life is made up of shades of gray and nothing is ever black and white. What I do not understand is the extent to which people go to pull you underder. I have had more than my fair share of experiences when it comes to "hoovers" trying to pull me down...but the most they will do is try to trick you into feeding them or instead of getting on their man for wanting to fuck you, they get in your face when you know that the only person who wants their man is them.

The people who are "on my level" on the other hand are far far more coniving, far more condescending, and a lot more backstabbing. I think it's because they are used to feeling on top and they are not use to feeling less. Therefore, they are by far more competitive. In addition, people who are "on my level" pride themselves for being financially and academically successful...but I am learning that success is defined more through what type of person you are. And based on this definition, the number of successful people in the world is drastically low. People are more inclined towards the bad than they are the good.

I find that when people who are "on my level" feel threatened they become the biggest liars I've ever met. They lie about everything and/or they will will shamelessly find out your weakness and use it against you over and over and over again (if you allow it).

As I have already stated, hoovers hate because they are emotionally discouraged. The people who are "on my level" on the other hand, are just plain heartless. There is no reason for their madness other than to be alpha dog...even when they are being well fed. This is why the world is the way it is...you have too many people trying to be alpha dog and not thinking about the general good of the global community. Hoovers just want to eat....while the people who are being fed just want to take just for the sake of taking...they want more than a good quality of life...they want power.

Being around hoovers is like being around dogs. They are generally loyal, playful, cuddly, and will be sniffin your ass when their needs are met but they become bitches when you hold a piece of meat in front of them that they can't have when they haven't eaten for days. Being around people who are "on my level" is like swimming with sharks. They have no real sense of comraderie and even though they are the big power houses and have much to their disposable, they act like scavangers who shamelessly take other's left overs.