Future Plans and Self-Manufacturing: Code Name - Liars

"Life is not about building character. Rather life is about revealing character."


Okay I'm dedicating this post to one of my friends. I'm dedicating this entry to her because she is one of those people who has a habit of participating in self-manufacturing on the daily basis.

For all those who are not fully familiar with my personal terminology, self-manufacturers are people who lie about their past, present, and future to make their life seem more dramatic and more interesting than it really is in order for they themselves to seem more interesting and better than they really are. In other words, it is a sad way to boost your self-esteem.

Being a Scorpio, I'm apparently suppose to be one of the greatest human lie detectors and I must say....so, so, so, sooooo many people practice self-manufacturing. Before I continue, I must clarify that there is a big difference between self-manufacturing and exaggeration. Exaggerating your circumstances is good in small doses in that there's nothing wrong with entertaining people when you retell a life story but......there is a thin line between exaggeration and out right lying.

I consider myself a fairly honest person so liars tend to frustrate me to no end. It is UNMANLY and UNWOMANLY and it speaks volumes about your own personal insecurity and manipulation level. Self-manufacturing is weakness. I think that the most insecure people tend to be the most manipulative. All and all, I do not trust self-manufactured people.

I'm not going to go into a lot of detail about the story behind this post but I must say that when I feel that I'm dealing with a self-manufactured person, I usually give them the okey-doke and move on....or, I fuck with them and play along. I rarely take the time to waste my breadth and call them out on their shit. Most of the time I feel sorry for them....I know how it feels to be free and secure enough to be yourself so I feel sorry for anyone who is not able to experience that.

Regarding the aforementioned friend, everyday she comes up with a new life story regarding how she has been shot at, her job status, her relationship history, etc... One time she wanted me to participate in a lie with her. We were going over a group of friends house to chill (they were pink people) and have some drinks and she wanted me to lie about how we were previously down in East Liberty (the Pittsburgh ghetto) chillin with some dude named Money Mike and while we were chillin, the house got raided and we had to escape out the windows. I went a long with it because I'm a go-with-the-flow type of gal and I thought it would be funny to scare the pink people but then I asked her "so when are we going to tell them that we are just joking?". Her response was completely and utterly ridiculous. She said that we were not going to tell them but instead we will continuously make up lies and keep up a tally of when they believe us and when they don't. Huh? I'm 22....and I believe that tricks are for kids.

She, like me, also works at a law firm during the summer. She first tells me that she was an unpaid intern, next she tells me that she was a paralegal, and then she tells me that they did not have an official title for her job description. From all the contradicting information that she gave me, it seems that she was just a secretary who did not get paid...which is just pure foolishness. Oooohhh, that bugs me more than anything. I hate it when people are just assistants and try to make their job seem more than what they do. I'm good at reading between the lines when people speak and to me, all it seems like she did was punch holes in paper and put them in a binder. Considering that she did not get paid for it for the first two summers, I think that she probably was helping out a relative.

People like her scare me (not literally). It makes me wonder what do people think about and what do they do when no one is looking. I find that the reason why people incite or make up drama is because, simply put, THEY HAVE NO LIFE! That is always the direct cause to all of their effects.

I think that people like her really need to learn to put themselves out there. They seem like people who are literally stuck inside themselves. Instead of being themselves and truly creating the life that they pretend to have, they need to stop being so lazy.

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Speaking of J-O-Bs....

I was sitting in class last night and overheard a conversation between a couple of chics who are apparently Social and Decision Science majors. I think all of them are about to graduate so they were discussing job options and how the Social and Decision Science field is very small. There are few jobs available and the ones that are available pay little money. They can either go the psychology route or they could go the political science route.

The girls were debating job satisfaction vs. financial security. The one girl made a point to the other stating that "why would you be an SDS major if you want to make money, the highest we will earn will be like 40K?" When I heard that I nearly shrieked. The only thing that I could think of was why the hell would anybody come to an expensive school like Carnegie Mellon if the maximum that they would get is 40K? I'd kill myself if that was the case.

In addition, Carnegie Mellon is one of the top 25 universities in the country and they are highly ranked in business, engineering, computer science, theatre, and architecture. However, they are not highly ranked in the liberal arts such as SDS. I still do not understand why liberal arts students come here. Even though Carnegie Mellon's name is a good one, it will not sustain you in the liberal arts that's for damn sure.

If you are a student in one of Carnegie Mellon's specialties, you are likely to make 70K+ upon graduation with a 10K bonus and in some cases, the cost of relocation. The only people making less than 50K or have had trouble finding immediate employment after graduation are those who do not understand the meaning of hustle. Almost all my friends are making money out the ass. And a good portion of them are making six figures at the ages of 21-24 without their Masters. That's ridiculous (in a good way) and it makes me more than hopeful for my own future. Especially since I plan on going to grad school after I leave Carnegie Mellon.

The grad school that I want to get into is Northwestern University. I believe that Northwestern is in the top 10 universities in the nation. And they have an excellent marketing program. I think it's marketing program is ranked in the top 3. Here is how I rank the grad schools that I want to go to:

1. Northwestern
2. Columbia
3. UPenn
4. Stanford
5. Duke

6. New York University
7. University of Virginia
8. Emory

Backup Schools are:

9. Carnegie Mellon University
10. University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill
11. University of Maryland - College Park

Ideally, you are suppose to go get your MBA from a school that is ranked higher than your undergraduate school. I would be the first person in my family to get their Masters. So it is definitely a feat that is worth overcoming. I wanted to take two years and gain some substantial work experience before getting my Master's but because I am behind, I'm going straight to grad school.

I planned on having my Master's by 2011 and if I go immediately after I graduate undergrad, I'll be back on track. I may even try to finish it within a year and have it by 2010 in which case, I'll be ahead of schedule than I initially planned. In the mean time, the work experience that I wanted before getting my MBA is now going to have be accomplished through internships. And because I will not have two years work experience before getting my MBA, my internships have to be from substantial companies. This will allow me to get a graduate salary after getting my MBA as opposed to an undergraduate salary.

Referring back to people in the liberal arts, I have a lot of friends who are in the liberal arts and they are always worried about jobs. After talking to many of them, it seems that my school has not been good at teaching them just how many opportunites are out there for them. Carnegie Mellon gives everyone else on campus paths, sources, and information regarding opportunites for their respective careers but the liberal arts students are treated as red headed step children.

Although I'm not in the liberal arts and I'm a business student (I have a liberal arts minor in Social and Decision Sciences though) I will do the kind courtesy of posting possible career paths liberal arts students at my school do not automatically think of pursuing that may increase income:

English Majors-

1. Literary Agent
2. Broadcasting
3. Law School
4. Contract and Grant Writing for businesses
5. Business in general (business like the fact that English majors posses writing nd analytical skills
6. Teaching

Social and Decision Science-

1. Researcher
2. Business in Operations Research and Management (Risk Analysis)
3. Business in Marketing (Consumer Decisions and Buying Behavior)
4. Political Science (policy analysis)
5. Law School
6. Social Worker

Statistics -

1. Researcher
2. Government
3. Business in Operations Research and Management (Risk Analysis)
4. Business in Marketing (Regression Analysis of consumer trends)




(will finish later)

Niggerdom and Glitches of Bitches

I have returned to the Burgh and found that it was appropriate to talk about what I like to call "Niggerdom" and "Glitches of Bitches" since I am returning home from Baltimore.

Before I go into today's topic, I would first like to point out that it was a damn good thing that I did not go to the ATL given the fact that there was a tornado. The tornado touched down one block away from my homegirls house. Given the type of luck I have in life, I'm almost certain that if I had of went, we would have been hit. Travel was cancelled because of inclement weather...at first I was pissed, but I must say GOD works in mysterious ways. The man upstairs definitely had my back this time around.

N e ways.....

Niggerdom

As always, returning home has confirmed the fact that I do not want to live in Baltimore. I barely want to visit. The only thing that keeps me coming back to Bmore are those precious babies. As much as I want to rep my city, I can't for it is the Nigga Kingdom. It is where crime, violence, sex, and drugs is glorified and values such as consideration, respect, and ambition are taboo. The quality of life there is way below subpar and because you only have one life to live, I do not understand why people do not try to make the most of the life that they have been given. I barely want to live in America, let alone Bmore.

I do not know what it is that people in Baltimore seek. What is the mentality of the Baltimoran? What is it that motivates them to value the things they value? What is it that motivates them to devalue the things they devalue?

As I have mentioned, one of my roomies is from Baltimore. Last night, we were chillin with some people from Jersey. The topic regarding crime rankings came up and I mentioned how Camden, NJ has been holding the number 1 spot for a couple years now regarding high crime rates. Last year, Baltimore ranked 11 or 12 when usually they rank within the top 10 or top 5. My roomie seemed like she was a little embarrassed by the fact that Jersey "won" over Bmore and seemed slightly upset at the fact that our crime rankings went down. I on the other hand thought that it was a good thing that our crime rankings went down. I'm tired of people I know dying senselessly. Lower crime rankings means more people that I care about get to live.

But that is besides the point of the story. The point is, that even a well-educated, motivated sister like my roomie has been tainted with the stench of niggerdom. Niggerdom is not a proof of strength...it is proof of foolishness....it is proof of weakness. A true go-hard person overcomes their obstacles. They do not relish it nor do they create it. A true go-hard person's biggest weapon is the strength of their conviction to sustain their morale. A true go-hard person will not undermine his brother with weapons of destruction. Rather, a true go-hard person will look a white man in the eyes and take his schools, his jobs, his cars, and his homes and will shout "Finally, I got mine!".

As Lauryn Hill says "go from hood-shop to hood-chic...you can get the money, you can get the power, keep your eyes on the final hour"

I understand the hustle of a street pharmacist...but that's not where a person should stay. They need to be on their grind to use their money to come up and get out. I have so many friends who hustle and go to school. But they hustle to pay their tuition so they will not have to hustle again. None of these people are from Bmore. All the hustlers I know from Bmore stay hustlers for life (which is usually pretty short). They do not even make plans to do anything but. Some hustlers I know who are nothing but corner boys, are strictly just trying to survive off of pocket change. So many niggas are out there not makin good on their hustle. I understand trying to survive but how are you surviving if you are out there carelessly fuckin and making babies. That's why I wholeheartedly understand when niggas say money over bitches. Pussy will fuck your life up but a good WOMAN will help you get to where you need to go....if you're man enough.


Glitches of Bitches: Another Form of Niggerdom

Speaking of pussy.....

Let's first talk about the definition of pussy:

Pussy - evasive or conceal one's opinions (pussyfoot around); weak or cowardly person; female genitalia; a woman sexually controlled by a man (dick-whipped)

To me, all of the chickenheads runnin around Bmore are nothing but a bunch of pussies. In every sense and definition of the word. A bootycall every now and again is cool...as long as you are being safe....but why the hell are there so many single, black females with kids that they can barely financially, emotionally, and spiritually take care of?

When I was at home, one of the members of Danielle Incorporated 3 year old son picked up a roach and put it to his mouth and pretended he was smoking it. I slapped it out of his hand and then slapped him in the back of his head. I told his mother and her HGM response was "Was it a roach or a blunt?". I told her it was a roach. Her response "Damn. I was hopin I could smoke that shit". All I have to say to that is three words.....Hot Ghetto Mess. That's so sad. It's one thing to fuck up your life....but when it affects the kids, that makes my stomach turn and makes me want to beat someone with a brick.

I was chillin with a group of friends of mine back in December and my homegirl's son came to her to ask her for something to drink. She ignored him but her boyfriend who is not the child's father, fixes him some soda. He did not have the common sense enough to pour the soda in a cup. Rather, he gave it to him in a shot glass. Three words....Hot Ghetto Mess.

When I went to the ATL in June, this nigga initially offered me $800 to sleep with me....I told him I was offended by the fact that he thought I was only worth $800 so he took more money out of his pocket and wanted to fuck me for $1200 plus a first class plane ticket back to Bmore (we had drove down there). Two of my homegirls got mad at me because I turned it down. They looked at me like I was boo boo the fuckin fool. First of all, I'm not a prostitute. Second of all, my va-jay-jay is a priceless commodity. I'm not an item that can be bought and sold. I'm nobody's pussy. I got a nigga to offer to pay my tuition for $4000 without sleeping with him. Why the hell would I sleep with someone for $1200? It's sad that that's the pricetag on their pussy. It's sad that they even have a pricetag on their pussy.

I had another friend of mine who slept with her bestfriends boyfriend for $500 even when she had a good paying job. Tisk, tisk, tisk.

I only know two females who had kids and actually changed their life around. In that case, their children did save their life. They both want more for their selves because they want more for their children...so they are definitely on their grind.

That's real love right there. So many pussy bitches are living under the delusion of manufactured love. They think that the relationship with the men that they are associated with and the relationship between them and their children is love. They do not even understand what having love for their own damn self is.

Another thing that irks me about pussy chics is they expect everyone around them to be on their level....which to me, is the bottom. I stopped smoking approximately 2 years ago. I have to take a drug test upon my arrival to Vegas for my internship. Despite all this, a group of people I chilled with over break was still encouraging me to smoke with them. They actually took it personally that I would not smoke with them. If I was still smokin and I had a friend who stopped smokin and who needed to take a drug test for a job, I would be pullin the blunt away from them even if they agreed to smoke. Throughout my whole spring break the only alcohol I had was two glasses of wine and that was because I went out to eat at Copelands. When I go out to eat, I always order a glass of wine....



I have an "On My Grind" playlist on my computer that keeps me motivated whenever Niggerdom starts to set in, it's as follows:

1. The Life by Alicia Keys
2. Comin' From Where I'm From by Anthony Hamilton
3. Welcome to Jamrock by Damian Marley
4. Raod to Zion by Damian Marley
5. In Love With You by Erykah Badu featuring Wyclef
6. Ready of Not by The Fugees
7. Killing Me Softly by The Fugees
8. Dreams by The Game
9. Don't Need Your Love by The Game
10. We Ain't by The Game
11. Beautiful by India.Arie
12. Back of My Lac' by J. Holiday
13. Thug Commandments by J. Holiday
14. Laa Laa by J. Holiday
15. VIP by Jamie Foxx
16. Heaven by Jamie Foxx
17. Renegade by Jay-Z featuring Eminem
18. Final Hour by Lauryn Hill
19. Aint No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrel
20. Po' Folks by Nappy Roots
21. Brown Sugar by Mos Def featuring Faith Evans
22. The World's Greatest by R. Kelly
23. Green Leaves by Raheem Devaughn
24. You Got Me by The Roots
25. Wishing on a Star by Rose Royce
26. Daddy Get That Cash by Styles P. featuring Lil' Mo
27. The Comfort Zone by Vanessa Williams
28. Work To Do by Vanessa Williams
29. Two Words by Kanye West featuring Mos Def and Freeway
30. C.R.E.A.M. by Wu-Tang Clan
31. Dreamin' by Young Jeezy featuring Keyshia Cole
32. Runnin' (Dying to Live) by 2Pac featuring Biggie