Hold Up a Mirror

If anyone were to take a poll regarding the question "What type of person is Courtney Thompson?" I'm sure you'll get so many answers that people may assume that Courtney doesn't know who Courtney is. But when it comes to me and how I relate to other people it is fairly simple. If I like you I'm generous, a lot of fun, overly caring, and kind of motherly. If I don't like you then I'm extremely defensive, unapologetically mouthy, and pretty icy. In both cases, I'm stubborn. Either way, you know if I like you depending on how I approach you. And if you come in contact with the "evil Courtney" chances are there is a problem with you.

So why is all this important?

I got a phone call from a guy I used to talk to and apparently he is still feeling a little sour about the fact that I no longer fuck with him on those terms. I do not know about anyone else, but calling someone just to tell them how mad you still are after not really speaking to that person in awhile is not far from insane.

He claims that I'm the biggest bullshit talker that he knows and insinuated that all I try to do is use guys for their money. He went on and on and on about women are so this, and women are so that and blah blah blah blah (what a bitch ass nigga right?)

His accusations were so laughable I could not believe it.

When it comes to guys and money, it is true that I do not believe in dating broke niggas but my reasons are justifiable. I'm a chic who is on her grind and I need someone who is on my level. I have worked hard to get to where I'm at. I do not believe in being broke and I do not believe in niggas who believe in being broke. I have broke friends who still manage to do a little bit of traveling from time to time because when it comes to doing something that they really want to do, they hustle. I know that I'm going to have bank when I'm older and I'm pretty discriminating towards guys who do not do what it takes to get the things they want. Ambitiousness is a turn on. Furthermore, I want to know that if I am with a guy and we ended up in a tight spot financially we both would get our hustle on to get things back to where they needed to be.

In addition, there are definitely exceptions to the rule. If a guy is up and coming, I definitely understand that. After all that is my current financial position. I'm broke as shit right now but I know that in the future that will be far from the case. I'm a person who wants to support her man to get to the top but of course I expect his support in return.

The biggest problem that I have by dating under this philosophy is that some guys are just dense. They assume that the only way they can win me over is through spending money. They seem to think "Because she does not date broke niggas she must be one of those girls who if I spend a little cash on her I can eventually tap that ass". A person who thinks like this could not be any more wrong. I cannot be bought. I do not have a price tag on my pussy or my heart.

Furthermore, it's not about spending money on me. Like I said, it's about ambitiousness to live the life you want to live. It's about makin it happen. I'm more impressed by a guy who offers to buy my books for school or help subsidize my tuition as opposed to a guy who buys me Tiffany's.

In the case with this dense mother fucker, my lack of interest had nothing to do with monetary gains...it had more to do with the fact that I simply did not like his attitude. He strikes me as a person who has a major attitude problem and is emotionally selfish. Futhermore, he has very very very little relationship experience. A lack of relationship experience is not usually a major thing for me but, it was when it came to him because he was too dense to fully understand the concept of "friend's first, lovers later".

He's the type of guy who believes men and women cannot be friends. That goes against everything I stand for. To me, a guy who cannot maintain a friendship with any type of women tends to be a guy who looks at all women stictly in a sexual context.

Too often, guys forget that I'm a habitual dater. Because of that, it is easier for me to distinguish the guys that work from the guys that don't work because I have something to compare others to. If I took a survey and asked each guy that I knew "tell me how the typical guy thinks", the answers are going to vary. It is my experience when it comes to people in general, what most people deem as "typical or "normal" is usually how they themselves are. This is not always the case but 9 times out of 10 it is. Some guys think that they are gentlemen and that they are good guys but in retrospect, a lot of times these men do not even know what being a good guy is.

For instance, this dude in question obviously has a problem with the fact that he "invested" money into me and was not able to "hit it". In his own words (slightly rephrased) "I have to face the fact that it hasn't happened and it's never going to happen...I spent all that money and I didn't even get to hit it". He is also a type of guy who prides himself on being a gentleman. A good guy would have relized that we were simply romantically incompatible and would have said something more on the lines like this "I'm mad that it didn't work out because I was really feelin' you. But I respect where you are comin' from and I'm glad that I can call you my friend. Holla at me if you ever need anything."

A gentlman takes a bow and waits until the curtain closes before he exits the stage. A boy stomps off the stage in a temper tantrum in the middle of the performance.

Another example would be a guy who offers to take you on trips but will not offer to put groceries in your refridgerator knowing that your finances are low. I'm not looking for a guy to support me financially because I can do that myself...but things like this are definitely a good test of character. A gentleman looks to help you in your time of need but anyone else looks for an exchange of mutual benefit.

Some people just refuse to hold up a mirror to themselves. I know that I am far from perfect but I know that my intentions are always good despite the mistakes that I have made. I always am accountable for my actions and I always tell it like it is not only to other people but to myself.

Of course after ending this phone conversation with homeboy, I deleted his number since he was determined to irk my soul. After I deleted his number, I decided it would be fun to delete other people's number as well. So note to all the people out there....if you don't here from me, it's because I did some spring cleaning.
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I started making plans for grad school. I recently met with my career advisor in my school's career center. I met with her so I could double check and make sure that I was on the right track. She approved the list of schools that I planned to apply to but surprisingly she told me to add Harvard to the list. So here is the finalized list for the grad schools that I'm going to apply to:

1. Northwestern University
2. Stanford University
3. Harvard University
4. Duke University

5. University of Chicago
6. University of California (Berkeley)
7. University of Michigan (Ann Arbor)

8. University of North Carolina (Chapel Hill) --> back up school

As a 25 year old with an MBA from any of the above schools, I'd make anywhere from 98,000-127,000 starting salary with a bonus ranging from 10,000-18,000 plus compensation which is usually relocation.

1 month and 1 week to go until Vegas Baby!

I'll Share My Spoon

I received this story in an email today and found it kind of thought provoking:

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said "Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like."

The Lord led the holy man to two doors.

He opened on of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water. The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful. But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

The Lord said, "You have seen Hell."

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.

The holy man said, "I don't understand."

"It is simple," said the Lord. "It requires but one skill. You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves."



I'm did not only post this story because I received it in my email today, but I'm posting it because it ties in with some things that have been on my mind lately.

First and foremost, let's start with a conversation that I recently had with my cousin. I was discussing a recent incident with her regarding the way I am with people. Her response by the end of the conversation was "You are always extra friendly with people but then there is always a point when you nonchalantly decide 'okay I had enough'".

The comment was interesting because it was something that I did not realize about myself but inherently is sooooo true.

I am a type of person who believes people are innocent before proven guilty. I think that the majority of people that I know live by the standard that people are guilty until proven innocent (I know a lot of people with trust issues). This is the difference between those who are non-judgemental versus those who are judgemental. It is the difference between people who are not prejudice versus those who are. It is the difference between people who are emotionally generous versus those who are emotionally closed.

Because I am a non-judgmental person, I befriend people quite easily but I quickly and unapologetically cut them off once they show their true character and their character does not align with my personal value system. It does not necessarily have to be a specific event that points out a person's true character. You can understand people's value systems just from the little comments that they say and how they approach other people besides you.

Nothing turns me off more than "people who do not feed other people". This is displayed in a variety of life circumstances:


1) The Gender Debate

I guess this is why I have a problem with chics because they tend to be emotionally selfish which is displayed through emotional neediness and the extent by which they attempt to satisfy their emotional needs. My problem with dudes is that they tend to be physically selfish which is displayed through their physical neediness and the extent by which they attempt to satisfy their physical needs. It seems everyone is out to get theirs and people have stopped thinking about each other. Everyone is both a victim and a criminal concerning the "ME ME ME Syndrome".


2) The Biggie Smalls Complex

The biggie smalls complex is when people have the need to look down on others to make themselves feel bigger. They build themselves up by making others feel small. They are the people who have an easy time prejudging and criticizing others but when someone puts a mirror to them, they either 1) don't recognize themselves and they DENY, DENY, DENY or 2) get irrationally and childishly offended by taking things too personal.


3) Hooverism

This is self-explanatory for those who know what hoovers are. A hoover is strictly someone who tries to get something for nothing. Some people are habitual hoovers whereas others have hoover tendencies. Watch out for these people...they are certainly snakes in the grass. They do not understand the words GIVE, GIVE, GIVE...all they know is TAKE, TAKE, TAKE.


4) No-Fault Complex

There are people in this world who believe that any and everything bad or merely bad is never their fault. They habitually and exaggeratedly shift the blame of their actions onto other people. These people too are snakes in the grass.


5) Stereotyping and Prejudice

This too should be self-explanatory. If it is not self-explanatory than more than likely you are probably one of these people.



There are definitely more examples but I'm pretty sure anyone who is reading this gets the gist of what I'm trying to say....basically, watch out for people who do not "feed" other people and if you happen to fall into one or more of these categories then you might want to reconsider your attitude. You do not want to end up thin and sickly.

I want to end this blog with a quick quote:

"The most trusting of people are the most trustworthy. The most judgemental of people are those who need to be judged. People view others as they view themselves because that is their only standard of normalcy."