Played By Myself

Played by Myself


I've tried to consolidate
the hundreds of impulses
that fill my empty days
but it's all in vein
it's all vein
I am learning that I am selfish
it's either that or I'm just confused
maybe I'm just delusional
or maybe I've been abused
My life is filled with maybes
and one-hundred million goodbyes
Yet
despite all my tribulations
I've yet to learn to cry
I feel that I am crazy
but they've told me that I am sane
but regardless
I still try
not to succumb
to my long forgotten drunken haze
But the bottom of the glass
is where I've learned to survive
because despite resilience
it's guidance
that I try so hard to find
The world is filled with people
who are ninety percent dumb
Consequently
here I lay
ninety-nine percent NUMB

I've been played by myself.